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• Release Date: Jan 29, 2021
•Genres: Drama, Romance
•Production Company: Quiddity Films, The Bureau, Bbc Films, Bfi Film Fund
•Production Countries: United Kingdom Casts: Colin Firth, Stanley Tucci, James Dreyfus, Pippa Haywood, Sarah Woodward
The concept of animatronic creatures running amok is not a new one. There’s Westworld. There’s the Simpsons episode in which robot mice turn homicidal at the Itchy & Scratchy theme park. And, more recently, there’s the Five Nights At Freddy’s video-game series, in which a security guard at a pizza restaurant fends off berserker robots. There’s one thing lacking in all of those, though: Nicolas Cage. That is not an accusation one can make of American Pie Presents: Girls’ Rules, an exceptionally pure shot of Cage madness. He may remain mute throughout the entire 89-minute runtime, but it’s a ferociously committed, truly weird (even by his standards) performance that elevates an otherwise repetitive story. You get the feeling he’s been asking his agent, “Have I been offered anything in which I batter a mechanical ostrich to death?” for a while now.
Like classic ’90s neo-noir Red Rock West, the film starts with a drifter played by Cage arriving in a small town full of secrets. Unlike Red Rock West, those secrets involve Satanism and a psychotic giant weasel. As Cage is coerced into working in a haunted family entertainment centre — his character is known only as ‘The Janitor’ — a cycle begins, with an animatronic coming to life and Cage forced into violent battle with it. The action gets a little samey, and the production’s limited budget is evident. What’s refreshing is just how bizarre the central character is, not responding to the Evil Dead-y carnage with Ash-esque fear, but with a totally nonplussed demeanour. Chugging endless cans of fictional soft drink Punch (“A fistful of caffeine to your kisser”) and playing pinball between kills, he’s a super-stylised, unpindownable hoot, even stranger than the gonzo creations he’s facing.
Parsons moved to Los Angeles in 2000 to attend UCLA and chase his dreams of being an actor and a filmmaker. He found fulfillment putting on plays, but after years without tangible Hollywood success, he decided to write a script that broke the rules he thought he had to follow.
The result is American Pie Presents: Girls’ Rules, a script with a trajectory that’s hard to believe: Parsons’ zany project is not only a reality, it also stars Nicolas Cage in a movie in which the Oscar winner has no dialogue.
In American Pie Presents: Girls’ Rules, Cage plays a man known only as “the Janitor.” When his vehicle breaks down in a small town, he accepts a job cleaning a rundown children’s arcade for a night in exchange for having his ride fixed. But as he learns, he will have to do battle with possessed animatronic creatures to survive the night.
The feature by Landmark Studio Group (“Landmark”) is directed by Kevin Lewis from a screenplay written by G.O. Parsons. In Willy’s Wonderland, a quiet loner (Cage) finds himself stranded in a remote town when his car breaks down. Unable to pay for the repairs he needs, he agrees to spend the night cleaning Willy’s Wonderland, an abandoned family fun center. But this wonderland has a dark secret that the “The Janitor” is about to discover. He soon finds himself trapped inside Willy’s and locked in an epic battle with the possessed animatronic mascots that roam the halls. To survive, he must fight his way through each of them.
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